~Updates~

     This one is just going to be short because I don't have a lot of time. I just wanted to update you on the status of my previously mentioned goals. So, here goes:
~I am not keeping up very well with my 90 in 90. I keep getting side-tracked bu other things. Some good. Some not so good. But, that is a different topic. I need to try to work harder to make time for this or I'll never catch up...
~As far as finding a steady source of income, that I have been working on. I have filled out at least 100 applications in the last couple of weeks. Finally, I think it's starting to pay off. I've had several call backs and I have several interviews lined up. So, we'll see how that goes...
~Obviously getting my own ride or my own place will be difficult to do without the steady income, so while I have started the process a few places, nothing definite as of yet.
~I have my divorce papers filed and am waiting to go to court. In the meantime, I have a court order in place, as stated in a previous entry, that gives me full custody of my children while their father gets visitation. And, with this document, I am legally separated. YEA!!!
~I have also finished another of my classes for this term, and only have two left. So, that is coming along quite nicely... Which of course will lead to my long-term career goal of being a teacher.
     That's it. Sorry it was so short. Feel free to comment, if you want. And, thanks for reading. :)

~Promiscuity~

     The actual dictionary definition of being promiscuous is: Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners. This definitely fits me. I don't see anything wrong with it when you're single. Granted, some people are remain this way while they are supposed to be in a committed relationship, and then wonder why they ended up single again... But, even though I see no problem with it, some people do.
     I know that promiscuity leads to a high number of sexual partners, and that there is the risk of catching an STD or getting pregnant. My advice to people is to remember what your mama should have taught you, and use a condom. I can honestly say though, that when you are in the middle of wrapping up with someone, usually you aren't thinking about any of these things. You're usually thinking it feels good and you aren't wanting to stop long enough to worry about being careful. One thing that also leads to so many people "forgetting" is the mindset that it won't happen to you.
     But, what if it does? I personally only remember the condom thing about half the time... Usually, I'm too caught up in what I'm doing to care. Plus, I'm allergic. My tubes are tied, so I generally don't worry about pregnancy, although, I have gotten pregnant since my tubal, so it's not a definite thing... But, I, luckily, haven't ever gotten an STD. I get tested every three months-just to be safe. And, even with the condom issues, I always remember with people I've just met. It's the long-time friends or people I've known awhile that I tend to forget with. But, life happens. 
     I have a friend, who would kill me if I told her name, who used to be just as out there as me, but decided to clean up her act. She settled down, and has been with the same man for the last few years. Recently, though, they had some issues, and she spent one weekend randomly hooking up with people, and now she thinks she has an STD. Because she got caught up, she now has to worry about it and explain it to her fiance. 
     Does that mean I think she shouldn't have went out and randomly slept with someone? No. Do I think she should have been more careful? Probably, but I have no room to say anything. Do I think that being promiscuous makes me an awful person? No. I think that sex was created to bring pleasure, so why not enjoy it? 
     And, as far as the ever-increasing numbers go, who cares? If you've been with five people or five thousand people, it's your business. If people look at you and judge you based on that alone, they didn't really want to know you anyway. I, personally, firmly believe that all it does is give you experience. And, they say practice makes perfect, so doesn't it stand to reason that the more "experience" you've had, the better it's going to be?
     One definite good thing about having multiple partners is that you learn new things about yourself. You learn what kinds of things you like and what you don't. You also learn what you're willing to do for your partner and what you're not. And, it usually gives you more confidence in yourself because you know if the same people keep coming back, they must have liked it.
     The one thing that so many people get hung up on is thinking you need to be in a relationship to have sex or that sex and love go hand-in-hand. I don't think so. I think that relationships are troublesome at times. And, if you just got out of one, you aren't looking for a new one. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get laid. And, I'm sorry, but what the hell does love have to do with sex? I don't have to have sex with you just because I love you. Or I would have slept with all my homies. And, no, I actually haven't. Some, but not all. And, I don't have to love you just to have sex with you. If so, that would take the fun out of spontaneous hook-ups. 
     Anyways, so I don't think there is anything wrong with promiscuity, but if it's not for you, okay. Don't judge me because it's how I am. To each his own. I don't judge others based on their numbers or whether they choose to be in a relationship or not. Or by whether they choose to remain faithful in those relationships or not. It's none of my business who you choose to give it up to or how often. Nor is it any of anyone else's business what my choices are. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not. What do you think? Feel free to leave any thoughts or comments in the comments section. Thanks. :)

Negative criticism? Positive feedback? Should other people's opinions determine who you are?

     Has anybody ever noticed that you get way more feedback about the negative things you do than about the positive things? Why is this? Why is it easier to say, "You messed up by doing this, that, and the other," than to simply say, "Good job!"?  I don't understand it. Maybe people think that if they criticize everything you do, it'll change you. Maybe it does change people. But, I'm not made like that....
     I have a very rebellious personality. If someone says something I do is bad, I usually take it a step further to see if they think that's worse. Admittedly, this sometimes gets me in trouble, but I feel like I somehow proved a point. If you want to think I'm bad, then I'll show you how bad I can be. So... if you think criticizing me or bitching at me will change me, it won't. On the other hand, when people give positive feedback, I react the same way. If you think I'm good now, let me show you how good it can get. But, being the person I am, I rarely get this.
     I most of the time am so busy just doing what I want to do right then, that I catch the criticism. I believe that life is short and you should enjoy it as much as you can while you can. A friend said something to me once that made alot of sense. Where he got it from I don't know. But he said, "I would hate to tiptoe quietly through life only to end up safely at death." I believe that you only get one shot, so why not live it up every chance you get?
     I also believe that you should always be yourself and do what feels right for you, regardless of what other people think. And, no I don't mean if you feel like killing someone, or beating your spouse, or something similar, go for it. I do mean, though, that if you want to have friends that mean something to you, even if other people disapprove, then have those friends. If you want to pick up and move to the other side of the world, and can afford it, go for it. If you want to date someone of a different race or the same sex, then that's your business. Whether you are a devout Christian, absolutely atheist, or somewhere in the middle, that's for you to decide and deal with if the time ever comes.
     What gives other people the right to decide these things for me or for you? How does anyone other than yourself know what feels right to you? Or what makes sense for you in your life at the moment? The person who tells you that you are going to hell if you don't follow certain rules of their religion, aren't they breaking one themselves? Is the person who tells you that you shouldn't move somewhere new, going to give you a place to live and pay your bills to keep you where they want you? Would you be as happy if they did?
     I think people should always do what they feel is best for them. And, I believe that people should give their fellow humans positive encouragement instead of negative criticism more often. If someone wants to date someone of a different race or the same sex, why not say, "Wow. I hope that you're happy in that decision and that things work out for you," instead of, "Why the hell would you want to do that? Don't you know that you'll be judged? I don't think it's appropriate."? Isn't the first one nicer? Or if someone is moving somewhere and they're excited, congratulate them.
     Even if you don't understand some one's motivation for things, you don't have to. They do. And, you should be positive instead of negative as much as possible.It'll make you feel better, and the people around you will, too. People say that children react better to positive reinforcement, but they seem to forget that adults do, as well. Think about it. Which do you prefer? What do you think about my opinion? Do you agree or disagree? Feel free to comment. Thanks. :)

Every Other Weekend

     So, as of this weekend, my children are officially every-other-weekenders. I wasn't sure how I would handle this change. But, we went to court and had an order put in place. This order stated that I had to let them go, whether I wanted to or not. So, after as much procrastination as possible, I packed their stuff and into the car they went. And, were off to their dad's for the weekend.

     Now, the oldest, Joseph, has been to spend the night lots of places. He's been to his Ma-maws, his Papa's, his Nana's, his Aunt's, and even to a few friend's houses. And, he's big enough to say whether he liked it or not. And, if he wanted to go back or not. So, him I wasn't as worried about. 

     Caleb, my middle one, has spent the night away from home a few times, but only at his Ma-maw's... Plus he was sick. And, he isn't big enough to call if he needed to, so I was more worried about him and how he would do.

     Lastly, Ruthie, the baby, has never spent the night away from home anywhere at all. I was going to let her go to her Ma-maw's with her brothers once, but it didn't work out. Needless to say, being the baby, she definitely couldn't have made a phone call. So, I was most worried about her. 

     So, feeling this way about it, I dropped them off on Friday with a great deal of anxiety. It seemed so weird to be at home without them. The house was way too quiet. And, then came bedtime.....My Ruthie usually sleeps with me, but she wasn't here, so sleep didn't come easily. I decided since I missed them so much, I would sleep in the boys' room. So, I did-with Ruthie's pillow, Caleb's blanket, & Joseph's Pooh Bear he's had since birth. That helped a little.

     Then Saturday, I was able to get some school done and catch up on some television. And, I talked to my babies a couple of times throughout the day, and they were so excited and having so much fun. That made me feel better, which helped me to be able to relax and enjoy the day. And, then bedtime came, again. And, I didn't sleep at all because I didn't have my Ruthie... 

     Until six in the morning... That's when I finally fell asleep. And, slept until one-thirty in the afternoon. At least, that meant it was closer to time to go get them when I woke up. I was excited because I knew I was going to get to see them in less than six hours, and then Billy called. We discussed the weather and decided around two-thirty that I would pick them up at four. That got me super-excited. I was down to less than two hours til time to see them, so I got dressed and got some stuff I was supposed to take with me, and we went to get them.

     So, I, of course, was really glad to see them, and excited to have them home. I got to hear all about their trip and was happy they so much fun. They go back again on the sixteenth, which is only ten days from now. And, I already know I'm going to miss them like crazy all over again. I wonder, though, if I will be as worried. 

     I grew up as an every-other-weekender and I don't remember having a problem with it. I don't think it really effected me. I hope it doesn't effect them. Will it? Is it normal to feel this way when all of this starts? Especially since I never thought my kids would end up here? Will it ever seem normal? Should it seem normal? How does this work? Share any opinions in the comments section, please. Thanks. :)